This is not a: I'm right, he's wrong post. This is a, I need your input because we're not sure what to do post.
Q took Gibson to Karate class tonight. Q asked if Gibson could just try the class tonight before signing up for the additional 7 weeks and pay the money. They showed up to the family session and so the instructor highly encouraged Q to learn along with Gibson.
Q came home early, and said it was a total disaster.
Gibson's take on the evening: I had fun, I learned some moves, I was thirsty, I saw Arick my friend, his name starts with A. I took my shirt off, I was hot, I sat down, because I was tired. Dad was mad at me. I was bored.
Q's take on the evening: He was embarrased for Gibson. He said he would repeat and master the move after seeing it only once. He said he had to keep leaving to get drinks. He said Gibson tried to hide behind Q. He said he couldn't focus and then wanted to sit down because he was tired.
After 20 minutes, Q told the instructor he was sorry but Gibson couldn't handle it and they left.
My take on the evening: I understand Q's frustration. I had concerns if Gibson being only 6 could handle Karate. However, I felt that as a parent there was a lesson to be taught. You simply finish what you started.
I asked if he threatened a time out or if he told Gibson that if he continued to make bad choices we would take away the two starts he earned today on his chart.
He felt punishment wasn't necessary for a fun activity that they were trying out. He said it was obvious that he wasn't into it, and didn't want to waist anymore time.
My question to you the reader is....... if you see your child struggling to focus or complete a new sport or whatever they are engaging in, do you walk away or stick with it? When do you say when?
Do you try different sports or activiites so you find what your child excels in? How old are your kids when you introduce them into sports or activities.
7 comments:
my honest opinion...at five am...and i've been up for an hour. don't ask! I'd let him walk away. karate is one of those things that without proper attention being paid, your boy could get HURT! He's got to have a limited amount of focus before starting...or someone can get injured.
I'm totally getting your point, and in no way wish to throw you under a bus, but i think this isn't the place for that life lesson...not at this age. Not in this particular sport. If it were...say...swimming or baseball, I may feel differently. But in a contact sport, like karate, i think that focus is too much an integral part of the sport. does that make any sense?
This is a toughie Kasey! One I've watched a sibling struggle with. This is how I view it:
Since this was just a "trial" karate class and you realized quickly that Gibson wasn't going to enjoy it - walk away. But, had you paid the money, I would tell your child they needed to stick it out, both for the sake of the money and for the sake of teaching the child tos ee it through.
WE started our kids in sports at six or seven. Really, at that age no kid is "super into" a sport. It's more that they're getting to know the rules of the game and learning to like it. Constant focus isn't normal for a kid that age, but some concentrated focus at times should be.
Pay attention to Gibson's personality and then pick a sport that suits it. Doesn't like to run? Don't do soccer. Likes to sit sometimes, maybe basketball or baseball are a better fit. Not a "team player"? Try swimming or tennis.
Don't give up hope. Do keep trying. I think sports are a necessity for boys - something to burn off some of that testosterone and have better peer relationships!
I think that the lesson of finishing what you started, at least at this age, should be more focused on chores, projects of his choosing, play dates of his choosing, home work, etc.
I agree with opinions already expressed - I would not force it. I do not think he should have been put in a time out or even strongly encouraged. There are so many "battles" with children, we need to choose wisely. I would think playing a sport is an outlet for them. It should not be another opportunity for parents to discipline and push them to do it. They should want to do it and feel good about the fun they are having.
On a different note...Today my girls had a soccer game. THey were blown away (9-2). I felt like they were being lazy and not aggressive at all. I was encouraging to them and cheered, but inside my competitive side was BOILING OVER!!! I asked them how they felt about the game after and they both went on and on about how fun it was and Adah was so proud she scored one of their 2 goals. Well, I guess that's what I want - for them to be happy and having fun.
Good question! As a kid I enjoyed sports, but never got involved regularly, and its really important to me that I find some sport or activity that my kids enjoy. I put the girls in soccer this year, and its been a challenge. They both say they like it, but if the games or practice don't go as they want it to, they get frustrated. Rachel often refuses to participate in practice if she doesn't get her way. I think it takes more than 1 try to find out if a sport is a good fit, and I don't like the kids to quit when they're frustrated. When my kids are learning to ride a bike, they often want to quit when they fall, but I always make them get on one more time before I let them take a break. I have not idea of Karate is right for Gibson, but that's my two cents!
Hmmm, I think it depends. Makenna played soccer this Spring {she had just turned 5}, and we quickly found out that the other kids had been playing for awhile {I think all of the kids had played at least two seasons}, and Makenna just wasn't that into it. We did have her stick it out, but if she had hated it, come home crying, or anything of that sort, I would have insisted we take her out immediately. I just think when they're this young it's not worth it to make them "see it through". As others have stated, there are other ways to instill that.
Just my opinion, though ;)
If you paid for it, stick it out. If you figure out it's not their thing without any $ out of pocket, count yourself lucky.
But if they're planning on participating, I do expect them to put their heart into it. Not that they have to be the star, but i want them to learn.
So what did you ever decide about this?
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