I've been slacking...... big time. I wish I could post daily but I'm in a funk. This pregnancy has totally drained me! This one has been tougher compared to my other two. Maybe because I have two now to chase after all day???
I don't want to sound ungrateful, however, I kind of do by complaining/ venting. But this is real, and this is what I'm dealing with people. We wanted this baby and feel very blessed by this gift. It's come with quite a price of endurance this time. :)
I have had dreams so bad that I wake up crying, I've had to sit on the "throne" many a times!! (Aren't you glad I shared that little detail?) I've also made my husband suffer this last week. My emotions have been up and down. He's fantastic and then he can do nothing right. He has been really patient. My kids have managed and I think are gaining some more independence as I'm not feeling myself. I'm a little over 11 weeks now, hoping my energy levels will be back to normal soon.
I was walking with my girlfriend the other night and we were discussing our roles as Mothers. She made a very valid point, that when she was pregnant she heard all the congrats and praises buy Mom's and friends. Many saying, " Babies are great, best thing ever. You'll love being a Mom, it fits you, etc." With that being said, she now wonders why nobody ever said, " you'll be tired, up late at night, you may struggle with your identity after that baby, you're priorities will shift, you'll want more time for yourself, you'll have a hard time accepting your post baby body, your emotions will be different etc.
I think we all know having children will change us in a dramatic way. I've always wanted to be a Mom. The one thing I struggled with after having my 1st, was who am I? I knew I was a Mom, and a Wife. But who was Kasey anymore? I hadn't taken time for myself anymore. I was rarely getting out of the house, and mowing the lawn was an outlet for me, or going to the grocery store by myself. Now I've realized that in order for me to be a better Mom, I have to MAKE time for myself. Girls night are key for me!! Date night with my husbands. Taking time to go exercise. I'd like to think I'm creating a good balance of all the things I am.
How were your pregnancies? What sorts of things have you had to endure? What helped you feel better? Did you struggle with your identity after the baby?
12 comments:
Wow, Kasey! You are super in tune. I read this blog post and thought maybe you'd read my mind! And funny thing is I was just wondering this morning if I should send you an email to ask how your pregancy is going!
This post speaks to all of the emotions I am currently going through. It is such a mixed bag, having a baby. You feel guilty if you don't feel gratitude all the time, but the truth is that the emtional/hormonal thing kicks in big time and rules your life. I am giddy and fawning over Ollie one minute, and the next I am looking in the mirror at my sad state and feeling a little begrudged.
You are so right though to make time for yourself . . . especially so you can give as a mom and wife.
I'm thinking of you dear online friend!
Ok, why didn't I know you were pregnant? Congrats. Holy moly I feel terrible.
I think you are right. Definitely need mommy time alone to recharge you.
I was reading in a magazine the other day and it said your heart works as hard as it would climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro while you are pregnant. That being said I told my husband, NO sympathy. I know he cares but I'd like to give this baby to him for a while! Okay maybe I'm a little pregnant I mean a lot!
Ya, I need girls night out, it makes me a better woman, wife and mother. It makes me Kelly again, you remeber her? Sometimes I do.
Datenight works too, I'm just bitter today, I'll be better tomorrow, maybe. I must be pregnant.
Lots of emotional Love,
Kelly
I was reading a magazine the other day and it said your heart works as hard as it would climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro while being pregnant! Yikes. This being said I told my husband. . . NO sympathy.
I need girls night out to be a better woman, wife and mother. I need it to be Kelly again, do you remember her? Sometimes I do.
Date night works too, but today I am pregnantly bitter, no reason, just am.
I'm happy too, to carry this baby and feel it move and love it, but I liked Kelly.
Anyway best of Emotions, On the upside I'm over half way prego, Kelly
Pregnancy is hard. I am also grateful for the end result but this is a sacrifice for the rest of your life. I also have felt bad about complaining when others can't. But we each have our trials and this is one of mine. Your body is not your own right now, you can't control it like you used to. I think that you are amazing. You have done so well with the two kids, you and Clenece look like super women to me. Thanks for the honest post.
Hey! How did I miss that you are pregnant? Congrats! I am happy for you!!
I was extremely tired with my pregnancies. It passes though.
I hope things get better for you!
Sadders! I didn't know you were going through this. But I agree, people always talk about the positives of being pregnant but never the challenges it brings!
Now I can't talk from experience of course, but I always wonder what happens to you as a person after you have kids. I'm scared to death that I'll have post pardom depression! Hell I'm scared to death that I won't be able to get pregnant at all!
But I think you've got a good plan, you've got to keep yourself in check with who you are so finding time for yourself is a must! Some mom's feel guilty about wanting to be alone but honestly it's the best for both you and your kids!
Hang in there!
The first three months are always hard for me. I just never felt well. And I did struggle with identity after the first child. But it got better.
Before you know it, they are grown up, and you are back to trying to figure out who you are again. It's a never ending process for us moms. I guess we should just be happy for all the different stages in our life. (sometimes easier said than done)
AND...I'm finally sending your pkg. I'm a dork. We are over our head at this house. I forget to ask you what size of flip flop you wanted out of the two, so I'm just sending both.
HANG IN THERE.
Oh yeah - plus? Don't hit me. But you're older now and I think pg gets a little harder the older you are. At least, for me it did.
All the things they don't tell you - I'm that rude person that points them out. LOL I'm terrible, I know, but I just don't think people should go into things blind or wearing rose colored glasses.
I'm a terrible pregnant person. If I could have another baby withOUT being pregnant? It would be a no brainer. I mean, I KNOW I can adopt but you get what I 'm saying, right? I suck at pregnancy. I'm not a rosy, glowy, in touch with my feelings kind of prego. No, I'm a sweaty, angry, acned, fat, get this thing out of me kind of person.
Lovely post. You pose some great questions.
My oldest is now almost 8, and my youngest is 2. We have 4 kids (including twins) and had them within a 5 yr period (not on purpose).
I've blogged a bunch about my pregnancy & birth & post partum (and yes, PPD) experiences...but to sum things up, let's see:
*Chocolate helps
*Remembering accomplishments I had pre-kid help me remember who I am and the great foundation I laid in my life before starting a family.
*A tribe of women-friends (LDS and otherwise) who buoy me up and fill my sails.
*Superman for a husband.
*Loving yourself, time and again, despite being a blockhead (that would be me).
*Holding onto Christ as our greatest Counselor and Friend.
*Having a voice/Blogging about it all.
*Having a sense of humor.
Oh I feel your emotions... I am going through them too. I am preggo and also have an almost 2 year old. I stay at home and I feel blessed to be able to do that but sometimes I dream of being able to go to work and talk to ADULTS! I feel like I don't have a lot in common with my working friends anymore... With this pregnancy I have been really tired and not feeling well. I still feel like I need to try to be super mom. I feel guilty a lot for not cleaning the house as much as I probably should and cooking, well, at all. I am trying to give myself some slack but it is so hard sometimes to think about just YOU! Hope you are feeling better soon.
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