Putting "ACCCTS" To Work

I came across a set of papers that gave advice on how to build strong families. I thought this was appropriate to share considering it's Christmas. Christmas time is shared with family and friends. I enjoy reading on ways to strengthen relationships and I hope you do to.

ACCCTS stands for: Appreciation, Commitment, Creative coping and Problem Solving, Communication, Time Together, and Spiritual Wellness.

Appreciation:

Write down ten things you like about your spouse. Be specific.

Set a goal to give one compliment a day to your spouse and children and carry it out.

Look for special ways to be appreciative and make them your trademark.


Commitment:

Have a family council periodically to determine what's going well, what needs to be changed, and family goals.

Renew marriage vows on a wedding anniversary and have a simple ceremony.

Designate a wall or room in the house for family mementos such as pictures and souvenirs of trips.

Creative Coping and Problem Solving:

Find out how much stress is on you by taking a stress test.

Commit yourself to an exercise program.

Cultivate a sense of humor and use it.

Communication:

Set aside some time each day when you can be alone together, to talk with your spouse.

Take an objective look at your communication habits. Work on just one bad communication habit for one month. Next month work on another.

Rituals and traditions offer family members a chance tos tay in contact with each other (e.g., dinner or breakfast). Keep the mood pleasant and avoid disciplining or negative remarks at this time.

Time Together

Think back to any happy childhood memories. Could you recreate some similar experiences for your family?

Let the children help with household chores, but work together.

Have a "date" with just you and your spouse on a weekly, biweekly, or monthly basis. Try new things, be creative, have fun. Keep it simple and inexpensive or as extravagant as you wish. Just being together is the important thing.

Spiritual Wellness:

Set aside 15-30 minutes each day for meditation, prayer, or contemplation. Take a walk and enjoy the beauty of nature.

Examine your own values and philosophy of life. Try keeping a journal of your thoughts and impressions.

Help your children clarify their values. Hlep them gain perspective by understaning what is most important to them in their lives.

*Source: Adapted from Stinnet N., & DeFrain, J. (1985) Secrets of Strong Families.